Silas
Gender: Male
Location: Carolina Beach
Quote: "that's an act, that's a frying pan, that's a stove, you're an alcoholic, dude, i'm tripping right now, and i still see that that's a **** egg! alright? i see the ufo's around it, but that's a god damn egg in the middle. there's a hobbit eating it, but god damnit, that hobbit's eating a **** egg, he's on a unicorn. but, no, th- that- tha- that's a **** egg. how dare you have a wino tell me not to do drugs."
Relationship: Committed Relationship
Orientation: Straight
Children: Proud Parent
# of Kids: 1
Body Type: Athletic
Height: 6'0"
Religion: Christian - other
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian
Yahoo: scrapsnik
About Me: Read my first word at 2 and a half. Played with my first Tonka at 3. Threw a brilliant temper tantrum at 4. Stole my first gummi bear from Giant at 5. First school yard rumble at 6. Was tying shoes at 7 although I still preferred the velcro. Played doctor like a champ at 8. Was first fascinated with Mayan culture at 9. Did the running man at 10, BEFORE it was big. Shot my neighbor with a BB gun at 11. Kissed Mary Ann Butler at 12...with tongue.(Pimpin aint easy). Pulled a wheelie on my Mongoose at 13. Ran my first hustle in the Halls of Oakland Mills High School at 14. Got my first temporary tat at 15 after my parents split. Cracked open my first Milwalkee's Best at 16. Spent 45 minutes trying to lose my virginity at 17. Got my fourth piercing at 18. What I'm hoping to accomplish is more than just getting to know the millions of 'cool' high school kids who subscribe. Although that'll be an added perk. Because God knows, I didn't spend enough time drinkin Beast Ice and talking about 11th grade hotties while chokin down a splif of black and mild in an attempt to look like a deisel gangsta back in 1991. No, more of that action is always a welcome thing. In fact...if you're interested in a great recap of those times, please check out: http://www.geocities.com/teddy1066/owenbrownmiddleschooloaklandmillshighschoolclassof1991omhsobms.html Start reading at 'The Ballad of Jesse Scharff'
Music: I personally enjoy both kinds of music. Country and western. Also prefer to delve into the wonderful sounds of be-bop, folk, heavy metal, jazz, ragtime, rap, rock-and-roll, soul, swing, r&b, bluegrass and ragtime. You, the reader, may be thinking..."schizo". This person is absolutely a schizo. Well I agree. No I don't. Yes I do. The point I'm making is that all of the above began in this lovely country that is the U S of A. Created through the conglomeration of culture and hardship forged through a peculiar history of slavery, forced indentured servitude, independant determination to create something out of nothing, and a hope for better days ahead. What am I talking about? I don't know. Oh...yes. THE BLUES. The following bluesmen are just a few of my favorites. I have come to really appreciate the blues and each artist for what they bring to it. Charley Patton really started it all. His gruff baritone and virtuoso guitar ability make him my favorite. In the late 1800's he was playing the first 'slide guitar', using a penknife on the strings. It's hard to have favorites but I put Leadbelly in the Top Three. He had prison-tested soul and an unbreakable spirit. Kinda like me...Jesse 'Earthquake' Scharff He killed a man, he served time in Angola, LA, he played the 12 string. Blind Lemon was a country bluesman from Texas. Blind at birth, he played for tips on the street. He revolutionized guitar playing; he also had a very strange ability to change time in songs. He had no lessons, he had soul. He froze to death in a Chicago blizzard. Very sad, because his finest song was "Please See That My Grave is Kept Clean". Blind Willie McTell aka 'Papa' was a 12 stringer from Atlanta. You can hear the ragtime in his East-coast 'Piedmont' blues. An excellent player and amusing singer. Blind Willie Johnson was blinded as a child by his vengeful step-mother. He went on to become the finest Gospel Blues musician of all time. Robert Johnson was a pupil of Charley Patton and Willie Brown, but disappeared, then came back very talented, some say he sold his soul, in any case he one of the most talented bluesman ever. Son House was a pupil of Charley Patton and played one of the best songs of all time 'Death Letter Blues'. House and Patton got me into Delta Blues. Bukka White wrote about what he knew; being a hobo and riding the rails from town to town. These men were true American pioneers. The list goes on.
Movies: 1) Dead Man - Excellent. That's all I really should say. A Sundance entry from a few years back. Johnny Depp is never afraid to try risky roles that don't pay millions so I like him for that. He has integrity, which is rare in Hollywood. The imagery, direction and cinematography are all excellent. He kills by accident, then has to go on the run, he meets an Indian "Nobody" then goes after the white men and bounty hunters like Billy Bob Thornton, Iggy Pop, Robert Mitchum etc.
2)High Plains Drifter - The second film Eastwood directed, it is a grand homage to the great Sergio Leone of Spaghetti Western fame. It follows the "man with no name" style of The Good, The Bad & The Ugly, but is unique in many ways. Set in the town of Lago, the film starts with three outlaws whipping the marshall to death. The townspeople watch, but they do not help. This is a town built on greed. The marshall is killed because the town wants to keep its lucrative but illegal mine open; which the marshall has threatened to close. The marshall is buried but without a gravestone or marker of any kind; he townspeople want to keep the matter quiet. Someone says that without a marker the dead will never rest...here's where it gets interesting. Through the scorching desert we see The Stranger (Eastwood) ride into town. He is a man of few words and he is on a mission. The townspeople beg him to stay and protect them from the outlaws who killed the marshall. The Stranger exacts a toll of revenge on the town...he rapes, he appoints the weakest man sheriff, he pays for nothing and he kills. Building to a climax, the outlaws are released from jail and head straight to Lago to exact revenge on the townspeople who turned them in. The townspeople, at the command of The Stranger, paint the town completely red and rename it Hell. As the bandits arrive, The Stranger leaves town on horseback. The townspeople lose faith and many are killed by the bandits. Then The Stranger returns to punish the outlaws...he hangs one, bullwhips another and shoots the rest. The town catches fire and we are given a wonderful glimpse into the fierce beauty of hell. As The Stranger rides out of town, the new sheriff asks "You never did tell me your name?". The Stranger replies "You know my name!"...he is the spirit of the murdered marshall...
3) Drugstore Cowboy
I like this film a lot. It's in my top three. Very relaxing watching junkies rob pharmacies. Matt Dillon makes me laugh because he's so jittery. You kinda root for them "Rob that store" "shoot up". It's a wonderful allegory of being a junkie, redeeming yourself, getting clean, going to NA, getting a job then getting shot? Bizarre but a well spent two hours. "Most people don't know how they are gonna feel from one moment to the next. But a dope fiend has a pretty good idea. All you gotta do is look at the labels on the little bottles." Based on the James Fogle novel of the same name, this is Gus Van Sant Jr.'s best and most consistent film. Drugstore Cowboy is the story of a dope addict and his "crew" set in and around Portland, Oregon in 1971. Matt Dillon portrays Bobby Hughes, a young and smart dope addict, who has spent his entire short adult life either in prison or shooting up.
As he told a social worker at the drug clinic, "To begin with, nobody, and I mean nobody can talk a junkie out of usin'. You can talk to them for years, but sooner or later they're gonna get hold of somethin'. Maybe it's not dope, maybe it's booze, maybe it's glue, maybe it's gasoline. Maybe it's a gunshot in the head. But somethin'. Somethin' to release the pressures of their everyday life; like havin' to tie their shoes."
TV: My favorites have to be the Home Shopping Network (HSN), The Weather Channel (TWC), and the Christian Television Network (CTN). I love all of these for many of the same but for also many different reasons. The commentators and callers fascinate me on all three channels. I'm amazed at how many old **** housewives call in to HSN and kiss the **** of whoever is currently selling the garbage thats being displayed. I mean really...is growing your own rubarb tree with the miracle grow formula you just purchased really that exciting? Did it really change your lif forever? Is your neice in Tupelo Mississippi really going to love the paisely nightgown you just purchased for her? I don't think so Grandma. It's pretty sad actually, because I fear these people are calling in many time because they have no one else to talk to. One shocking similarity between the HSN and the CTN though...is the amount of caked on makeup that these hosts wear. It's particularly ridiculous on CTN. I mean the amount of ozone thats being destroyed to get these quaffs perfect is a serious calamity. But makes for great television. But the weather channel...now thats truly a gem. Forget tylenol pm. I'm tellin you my peeps, if you ever need to take a quick cat nap without the groggy side effects of medicating yourself...flip on TWC and find out what the barometric pressure reading is on top of the Department of Education in Fargo North Dakota. Riveting. But you know what I really like to do for fun? The thing that reminds me that I'm alive, important, and connected to the real world inside my television. I enjoy calling up telethons, you know like Jerrys kids or something where all the operators are sitting in the background, and then making the operator I'm on the phone with wave at me through my TV set before I'll give a donation. Once I get the wave I promptly hang up. But I feel its the least I can do for those lil tards. I mean...I love those goofy bastards.
Books: The Holy Bible
Likes: I believe in the soul, the ****,
the ****, the small of a woman's
back, the hanging curve ball,
high fiber, good scotch, long
foreplay, show tunes, and that
the novels of Thomas Pynchon are
self-indulgent, overrated crap.
I believe that Lee Harvey Oswald
acted alone, I believe that there
oughtta be a constitutional
amendment outlawing astro-turf
and the designated hitter, I
believe in the "sweet spot", voting
every election, soft core
pornography, chocolate chip
cookies, opening your presents on
Christmas morning rather than
Christmas eve, and I believe in
long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses
that last for 7 days.
Heroes: I am most proud of my God father Lee Roy Selmon. He is the only Tampa Bay Buccaneer to be inducted into the NFL hall of fame. This occured in 1995 as I was in the midst of my own budding collegiate career. Lee Roy asked me to speak at his induction, but to be honest I couldnt help but go on a bit about myself. You see, I played football at Alabama. I was redshirted freshman year but quickly developed into a speedy hard-hitting linebacker. It was cool. I had lots of southern girlfriends and people were always asking for my autograph. I spent a lot of time signing autographs for the kids because they need positive rolemodels to look up to. I was in the local newspaper a lot. I did a few controversial things at the University of Alabama. It all started when I sacked Rex Grossman at Florida. I hit Rex so hard his head came plum off. This was never really publicized.. I apologized to Rex in the media but I don't think he ever quite forgave me. A lot of Crimson Tide fans really liked the sack and I gained a bit of notoriety for it. We had an almost undefeated season except for a 35-34 loss to Auburn. Very sad day in Iron Bowl history. I got to sack some pretty good D1 quarterbacks (Joey Harrington at Oregon, Grossman, Dorsey at Miami, and I sacked Major Applewhite 5 times in one game. He's the slowest Longhorn in Texas history. He runs a 5.2 40, so he won't turn the corner on you. I really enjoyed my college career, especially knocking the living daylights out of slot receivers. My senior year coach had me move to strong safety and I flourished. It was fun knocking off people's helmets. I wasn't dirty like Lavar Arrington or Chuck Cecil, I was more like Ronnie Lott or NightTrain Lane. I never set out to hurt anyone, but I wanted tight ends and receivers to know that when they crossed the line they were in MY HOUSE. Yo, anyone who comes in my house without an invite is bound to get hurt. You understand? Do you? You better. Sorry, I just started talking some smack there, I'm not trying to alienate you, the reader. In fact thanks for reading this far. I was pretty good at safety and my agent told me that I had a good chance of going in the 3rd or 4th round of the NFL draft. I was real happy to hear this 'cause I had worked hard all my life to get there. My cousins Ronde and Tiki both play in the NFL.
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